I just threw up on my dentist
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
