I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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