I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
