I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
