I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
