is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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