found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
