Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
