Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
