my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
