piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
