he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
