that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I FOUND THE LEGS
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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