I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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