Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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