I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
