remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
this must be what syphilis tastes like
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
