I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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