I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
