That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
