its not stalking. its research.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
We talked him into tasing himself.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
