We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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