While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
