Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
