remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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