i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
