my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
