Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
