Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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