I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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