on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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