I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
