I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
