I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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