I should be sponsored by Trojan
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
