you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
