porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
