Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
