Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
