$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
So much rum. So many feels.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
