been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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