It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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