It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
