I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
