i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Randomize
