And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
