just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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