Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
