It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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