The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
