Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
whose parrot is this?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
