I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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